grandma shit on top of the toilet
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
