We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
