There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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