i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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