did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
