Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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