Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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