lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
