So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We're too hungover to prance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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