what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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