she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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