Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
