I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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