yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Randomize
