God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
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Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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