bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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