She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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