He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
