i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
