That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
