Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
its not stalking. its research.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs