Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?