11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"