I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
