It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
