Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How does one acquire holy water?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
