Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
vagina is talking i cant
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
