I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
