Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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