I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
