you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
