coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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