where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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