Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
