Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
