Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
