Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
