it hurts more in the daytime
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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