sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
