ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
