a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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