It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
tell me about the eggs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
