is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
