I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
