Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
