Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
