I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
