So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
