I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
