shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize