when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
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