I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
