She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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