just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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