And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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