I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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