I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
