somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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