Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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