Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
