I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
